GA, NC, Family Visits and a Wedding…

all within a two weeks!

A couple weeks ago, Danny took a week off of work. We decided to head to Woodstock, GA for a couple days.  The trip began on Saturday. We had a great time catching up with Danny’s brother and sister-in-law and their sweet little girls. There were birthdays, lots of talking, laughter, catching up and date nights :) The kids had so much fun playing with their cousins and exploring all their cool stuff. Bentley loved the tire swing and tree house. He told me that when we got home Daddy was going to build him a tree house! Marseille loved all the girly toys!

We came back home on Wednesday and got ready for a garage sale. It proved quite challenging with the kids so we met Danny’s parents half way to Charlotte on Thursday and the kids stayed with them until Sunday.  Our garage sale went well, we sold some big ticket items. It’s nice to pare down! After the garage sale, we brought everything that didn’t sell to Goodwill… let’s just say they got a lot of good stuff! To conclude the day, we went looking for shoes for me that fit the carbon graphite insert that I have to wear. It was hard, but we had such a good time together. It was the most relaxing and fun time we’ve had in a long time!

On Sunday, we headed to Charlotte to pick up the kids and hang out with Danny’s parents. The kids loved their time with Grandpa and Grandma. On Memorial Day, we headed back home after a trip to IKEA :) Danny went back to work on Tuesday.

Thursday, my parents came into town for a wedding. Danny was playing the piano in the wedding. He did such a great job. The wedding was successful, the sweet couple is married! :) On Saturday, we went to the zoo with the kids and my parents. We hit happy hour sushi for lunch! The kids loved hanging out with Pop-Pop and Grandma. We even got to Facetime with my Grandma (the kid’s great grandma).

It was a fun couple of weeks catching up with family, traveling and having Danny all to ourselves!! Dreaming of our next vacation!

xo, nikki :)

 

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Daily Suffering

Time for the next question: daily suffering and pain, watching your children suffer and being powerless to take it away?

I don’t really have a good answer for this one. To be completely honest, I am not a super sensitive mom. This is probably God’s blessing on me. I am sad that Bentley and Marseille have to walk through this but I really don’t think a lot about them suffering or taking it away. I am not trying to be flippant, or uncaring, I really just don’t think about it. Besides giving my children a lot of medicine each day, I really don’t view them or treat them differently. They appear normal and we live each day as I think most normal families do. I don’t dwell on why God has chosen this path for them, and I hope that because I don’t question, they won’t question it either. If anything, I pray that this disease causes them to cling to God quicker than most.

Would I love for them not to suffer? Um, definitely yes! Would I love for them to be healed? I pray for it daily.  If I could take it away I would, but I can’t and no amount of worrying or questioning is going to take it away. God has chosen to bless us with this disease, and I am not saying that sarcastically. I think Laura Story says it wonderfully:

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

~Blessings by Laura Story

I don’t know if this makes any sense! I love my children but God loves them more, more than I ever can or could. I learned from the minute, literally, that Bentley was born that my children are not mine. I have to trust God completely that He knows what is best for Bentley and Marseille and if ARPKD is what is best right now…. bring it! When Danny and I are discouraged in our situation we always come back to the same thing: it could always be worse.

xo, nikki :)

God’s goodness vs. my life

Here is my emailed response to my struggling friend that asked this question: How do you balance God’s goodness and your life?

While Bentley was still in the NICU, I remember a specific time when I was in the store and I questioned God’s goodness to me. Upon check out I noticed that People Magazine’s cover story was Christina Aguilera and her healthy baby boy. I was angry as I looked at her  face with her newborn. I questioned how God could give her a healthy baby and not me. I was the christian!

Thankfully, my thoughts didn’t last too long as I reminded myself, that I was the christian and I have hope. My greatest need has been taken care of  and I will be in Heaven one day, where every tear will be wiped away and all the pain I was feeling would cease. God is good. No matter the situation, I have hope!

I realize now that as I write these words, I should have praised God that Christina Aguilera had a healthy baby. I could have thanked God that she was spared from grief and for the precious miracle that her son is. I could have prayed for her salvation…. because I am a christian!

Fast forwarding a little bit. I’ll never forget the day that the results came back showing that Bentley’s kidneys were polycystic. I was giving a sewing lesson after I had gotten the news. The mother of my student was encouraging me and reminded me that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. That statement of truth has helped me so much. I have come to realize that I only have grace for today. I need to cherish today and see God’s goodness in today. I know that this can sound like a lot of fluff, but I have come to realize that leaning and trusting God is the only way that I can get through my troubles.

As I remember who I was and who I am now, I see God’s goodness. It has only been through my circumstances, God’s strength and the Holy Spirit that have changed me. That is how I can look at my children’s disease and see God’s goodness. I THANK God for it because without these difficulties I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t know God and love God the way I do without these trials.

My greatest need has been taken care of on the cross and through the resurrection of Christ. I stand on the promise of the day that is drawing near, when the good work that was started in me will be brought to completion and all pain and sorrow will cease. When I will see God and be rewarded for my obedience and hardship <<crazy>>>. I will be with the One I love!

The promise of Heaven is how I balance God’s goodness and my life.

I love you, friend. Keep fighting the good fight with endurance. Do not give up hope because we have a glorious hope. He will give you the strength that you don’t have to walk through this extremely tough trial. 

For the moment all discipline (trials) seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:11

The effect of righteousness will be peace and the result of righteousness quietness and trust forever. Isaiah 32:17

Keep sharing your heart, letting people pray for you and stand on His promises! God loves you most! Don’t doubt His goodness!

xo, nikki :)

Questions

A struggling friend of mine recently emailed me some questions, and I thought that I would like to take my time in answering them. I also want to share them here. They are good questions and I hope that my answers will encourage others who are in the midst of trails in their own lives. I am not perfect, and my way of dealing with our trials is not the “right” way.

With that said, here are the questions:

– how do you balance God’s goodness with your life?

-daily suffering and pain, watching your children suffer and being powerless to take it away?

-how do you balance that with a God who loves you desperately and works all situations for the best possible scenario in your life?

-how is PKD best for the Roberts?

-how was it best when you knew marseille was going to have the same illness and future as bentley?

I will be taking the next few days to answer these in posts. I will be honest and open. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave your questions in the comments and I will add them to the list :)

xo, nikki :)

There’s a bluebird…

on our porch! A family to be exact. It has been a lot of fun to watch Papa and Momma Blue scope out our decorative bird house and choose to make it their home. The draw back to this close encounter is that they are using our back porch! Every time, Momma Blue sees us, she flies away. We want her eggs to hatch and, in order for that to  happen, she needs to be sitting on them! I’m grateful for this new little excitement! We all have had fun watching Momma Blue collect so much stuff to make her nest. Every time she went in, pine needles and twigs fell out. There was a huge pile of scraps on the deck. The kids enjoy trying to be quiet so that they will not scare them away. I was glad when she finally laid her eggs on Saturday. Hopefully, all three eggs will hatch! We’ll keep you posted!

xo, nikki :)

Papa Blue
Keeping a look out
Mama Blue
Surveying their new place
Eggs on June 2nd!
So small!
Momma Blue taking care of her eggs